KING JIM AND THE ALIEN INVADERS.
Gathering through the night, in the stillness of the dying day, flying low and flying high, wings flapping like an old bird, almost invisible in the twilight eve, they clustered tightly along the low branches of our bushes.
Long legs, as dark as the shadows on a moonless night, mingling with the other twigs, they blended so well, only a slight movement gave them away.
I stood still, staring intently through the foliage, waiting for the shapes to separate and reveal the dark invaders. The wind rustled a few leaves and for a second I thought I was alone with only my wild imagination.
For a moment I thought I had but dreamed these insects but I was wrong. They had come from another world I was sure, for what else could they be? Protected by a black armor, as hard as granite and as cold as ice, they seemed to be totally indifferent to my presence, standing still as if death alone could move faster than them, they silently and quietly banished the peace that I had previously felt while I was sitting in my backyard enjoying the last warm rays of the sleeping sun.
I wished they were a mirage. They would dissipate as quickly as a passing cloud in the sky, but here they stood. Twenty, fifty, may be a hundred, a hundred warriors stacked ungracefully on top of each other, were patiently waiting for the signal to attack.
It was time to defend ourselves. May be our lives were in danger. May be this was only the precursor that would send our world to the brink of devastation. We, the smart race, destroyed by alien monsters, monsters that were as big as giant grass hoppers.
It was time to resurrect the SWORD OF LIGHTNING. My hand on the handle, ready to lift it up from its resting place, I stood still, seeing again my warrior King, swinging the SWORD with all his might against Master Wasp and then swinging again against the dark invaders. With regret I let go of the SWORD, this was no match. We would surely loose.
A sharp noise brought me suddenly to my attention. It came from the backyard. Had the attack already begun? The noise started again. TA.DA.TA.DA.TA.DA….TA .DA.TA.DA.TA.DA….
Hands at my breasts, I flew to the back of the house, unable to imagine what could have happened.
I pushed the back door in a hurry, and stood still for a moment, taking in one glance what was going on. Then, as suddenly, I turned around, and back in the house grabbed the perfect tool to help out my husband King Jim who was in the middle of a supper fight.
Returning to the battle ground, I aimed the video camera at the scene enfolding in front of me so it would be recorded for eternity, so each and every one of our children would know what a courageous King they had for a father.
Armed with a COW ZAPPER and his cell phone, King Jim was zapping the heck out of the hide of the aliens. Black bugs were flying left and right, the zapper not once stopping to recharge and my Warrior King armed with his cell phone on the other hand, recording also for posterity, jumping left and jumping right, at the risk of life and limbs or tripping over a root, aimed the deadly charge of electricity at the unsuspecting aliens.
Like a dancer on a high wire rope, King Jim jumped back, swinging the COW ZAPPER in the air, left and right, up and down, protecting himself from the super-duper terrible sting of those invaders, then charging again on their home grounds.
Finally, with but a few of the bugs remaining, King Jim stepped back, looking at the damage he had made.
We had won the battle.
It is amazing what a couple of 9 volts batteries can do, able to produce 500.000 volts charge and deliver us from the evil bugs. The triumphant King sat at the computer and did what he had always wanted to do, send a cool recording to U- Tube.
The next night, King Jim and his Queen Hina, stood together in their backyard. All was well in the kingdom again. A couple yellow butterflies were fluttering here and there, the residents squirrels were playing on the tree branches up above. With a towel on his shoulder, the victorious King approached casually the resting grounds of the past invaders and to his amazement, discovered the hives of bugs fully reconstituted and intact.
If King Jim could have conjured up lightning, at that moment, they would have been dead, along with all the plants.
He threw the towel on the couch and without a break, marched straight to the garage. This time, if 500.000 volts weren’t going to do it, he was going to use the big guns. Within minutes, armed with what could be the equivalent of the end of life in the Tampa Bay’s fish population, he dosed off the whole of them with tons of the strongest pesticide he could get his hands on without passing out himself.
The garage itself was not habitable for a few days. King Jim’s shoes had to be disposed off outside for awhile.
This time….There would be no next time. How could anything survive?
But they had survived! They were all there! As placid as ever, their forbidding bodies still stacked up on the bushes trunks, the villains had never left the coop.
There was but one thing left for King Jim to do. He looked at his Queen, looking for her approval, for the last time he had cut down one of her bush and a thousand of her dear Gardenias were gone and forever regretted he needed her to make the final decision. The nod came and again, he went to the garage.
Soon King Jim came back, ready for the last battle. In his hands rested the dreaded chain saw and with a few well placed slashes, he brought down the whole darn thing. Branches fell. More bugs flew. The backyard looked bare without those bushes, but the war was finally won.
A few of the remaining alien bugs hanged on the white fence for a short while. Without fear and without regret, King Jim savored his victory, brandishing a large brick, lifting it up in the sky, squished without prejudice the last of the alien invaders.
Written by Hina Pero
April 2011
